[source www.thedigeratilife.com/]
After going through another week of running the budget (for like a whole hour - I keep running month over month comparisons. How anal am I?), looking at where we stand in our wedding fund, sending out another big deposit check for a vendor (sending out the checks really hurt the worse - it's like someone clutching a fist around my heart), and purchasing other little incidentals I had to stop and ask myself : Is all this worth it?
This week I began to doubt myself and the choices we are making. For a wedding of our size, 50 people including ourselves, plus no alcohol or dancing are we spending too much? While not disclosing our budget lets say for our brunch reception we are kicking out the same per person price as people having their wedding at county clubs (which includes open bar). My girlfriend who is also getting married next year raised the same question. An acquaintance of hers just threw her whole wedding for $12k with three times the number of guests as mine!!!! (And I saw the pics it was a nice affair) When I heard this I nearly dropped into spasms on the floor and said to her in a whiny voice, "Am I doing something wrong? "
I think I have come to a point where all if not most of our vendors are locked in and I am starting to second guess our judgement. Could I have gone with a cheaper florist and gotten more arrangements? Could we have had a bigger wedding for the same price? Are we just spending too damn much money for 50 people for one day? And there are still little things that we would like to do that are not in our original budget (like draping, lightening, etc.) Also we decided that since we are doing a nine day cruise of the Carribean in October we are changing our honeymoon plans, which means more expense for us since we had planned to do an all inclusive resort. The little costs here and there are starting to add up and I see that we are easily going to come in over, when just last month we were $2K under! (Which by the way is my fault because I had the burning desire to have a videographer after seeing the work of the company Wellspun which pretty much ate the surplus up.) I feel like its spiraling out of control and I can't stop it. And I know there will be other items that "I just have to have or I will die and the wedding will not be right ....". But will there be money in the budget? And believe you me, Roe and I will not be the proud receiptents of an economic bail out if we get ourselves in trouble.
My fiance ever the pratical one constantly reminds me that its just one day and not the rest of our lives and that we have other priorities. Very easy to for him to say. I want us to have a fantabulous wonderous day with everything just right, but at what cost? And me who never worries and is the most non-chalant person is starting to stress over it. At one point I just wanted to junk everything and just go to the City Hall.
Drawing the line in the sand is hard. When do you say enough is enough and my day will be special regardless. No one will notice there is no pin lighting on the florals, or that we have no big florals in the ceremony room, or that its a dry wedding (Who are we kidding? People will definitely notice that). And that day will be special with or with out these things.
Help! Are other brides panicing about costs and asking "Is it worth it?"
Vineyard (courtesy of theknot) - was on my short list. While classy and sophisticated wanted something more romantic
Monique Lhuiller (courtesy of theknot) - the colors are surreal and divine
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